It’s a farce. No I’m not talking about Brexit for once. I mean this plan to reduce pollution from motors by something which sounds like one of them hooters from the 2010 World Cup, Vuvuzelas, no ULEZ (Ultra Low Emission Zone), or whatever. Basically it means us motorists what keep the wheels of industry turning in our great capital city have to cough up even more cash for City Hall, like up to £100 a day ’cos apparently we’re belching out fumes.

It’s the nannies again. Having told us to drink no more than a thimbleful of booze once a week and munch raw turnips so we live to 110, now they’re forcing us to ride round London on bikes or take Shank’s pony so the place can smell as fragrant as a tart’s boudoir.