At a Halloween party in 1916, famed society wit of the Algonquin roundtable set, Dorothy Parker, spoke one of her wryest sentences. Asked to join a group of merrymakers who were ‘ducking for apples', Dorothy said: ‘Change one letter in that phrase and you have my life story.'

From the Spending Review settlement, it seems local government also is going to have to get used to ducking down in order to win the fruit jackpot of centrally-run cash pots for place-prosperity.