Tarquin, do stop wittering on about Greta Thunberg. You most certainly cannot go on school strike to save the planet – I fail to see how you skipping out on geography and double maths would make any difference to the climate change crisis.

Besides, I'm not even sure it is an actual crisis. So what if we get a bit warmer every summer? I rather like it and it would save us a packet on our place in Tuscany if the whole of the country was a bit more balmy.