Tarquin! Stop trying to catch snowflakes on your tongue, poppet. One doesn't want to have to clean up your head from the front of a passing juggernaut.

Now, aren't you glad we have a four-wheel-drive in this weather – at least you know we won't be stranded miles from home with no way of travelling back. Heaven knows what we would do if that ever happened – die in a doorway, I imagine.