Tarquin! I said stop waving that net out of the window. How many times do I have to tell you, you will not catch fish in the puddles of Knightsbridge, even if they are quite deep.

Yes, I know there has been flooding in other parts of the country, but I really don't think it is ‘unfair' that we are not under water. It is not fun trying to cycle when you are up to your armpits in floodwater, I can assure you.