Yet another mountain of cardboard arrives from Amazon. Then you've got the pizza guy delivering my 12-inch with extra pepperoni plus wings on the side, plus garlic bread in a separate box, plus a litre of cola in a big plastic bottle.

Then the missus, who has decided she needs more cushions, orders another two, all arriving in boxes as big as armchairs with enough layers of wrapping to cover the back garden, plus there's the kids with their takeaways and more heaps of plastic food cartons.