I love the health nannies. I'm so much in awe of these good folk that I've decided to go on a strict diet 'cos what they say about the connection between COVID and what you shove down your cakehole has really got to me. I mean, there was a time when the very mention of the words ‘broccoli' and ‘avocado' had me blowing a gasket. Not anymore. I like to have a light lunch, a few salad leaves and maybe a couple of slices of wholemeal bread hand-made in Dorset or whatever.

In fact, I had a word with my GP and said to him: ‘Look, doc, I occasionally like to partake of a small sherbert, but as I'm listening to the health nannies, I mean health experts, I don't eat much, so could you deliver me a doc's note to that effect and I can hand it to mine host in the Dog and Duck?'