Funny how on the one hand the Government can suddenly find a billion quid to give out in bribes when it keeps telling us it hasn't got two pennies to rub together.

I mean good luck to all the folk in Northern Ireland who can drive along spanking new roads without a pothole in sight and never worry that there won't be a khazi for 60 miles as all the councils have shut them down, unlike here of course, where our potholes have got so big they're turning into duckponds.