How can anyone take the House of Lords seriously? I know councillors take the biscuit literally, what with their Jammie Dodgers and snifters in the mayor's parlour, all funded by us punters, but them peers are another world altogether.

Firstly, there's about 800 too many of them, secondly it's money for old rope as all they need do is turn up, clock in, park their rears on the leatherette seats and claim their three ton for the day. And thirdly, half of them are only there 'cos they cosied up the rear end of some long-forgotten PM.