Having got us into a right mess the politicians now clear off for their 12 week holidays leaving the rest of us to wade through the steaming pile of manure they've left behind.

I can't even go to France to pick up my latest consignment of two tons of Old Dutch Shag Rolling Tobacco as the frogs have deliberately sent all their passport staff on extended sick leave leaving one bloke with a beret and a Gauloise so the tailbacks are stretching right back to Maidstone which isn't a place you want to spend your summer holidays.