Let's face it, old people run this country ‘cos they've got nothing better to do in the day than go, and vote and the canny little sods make sure they vote for a party that feather beds their endless old age.

The rest of us are too knackered to bother turning up at some bleeding godforsaken hall to put a cross on a scrap of paper and the reason we're all knackered is we're working so hard to pay for all these old people's bedpans.