I thought this Government hated red tape. It's always going on about making bonfires out of them, but I can't say I've ever seen any. There just seem to be more and more pointless rules, mainly to do with 'elf and safety 'cos the nannies think we're like babies.

Now there's a new one. If you want to vote you have to give your inside leg measurement to some jobsworth, else you can't put a cross against some geezer's name you've never heard of with a stubby pencil in a cardboard booth in a draughty school hall smelling of socks.