I don't know whether Pippa Middleton has got a new job writing council press releases but some of the stuff my town hall's been churning out during this hot weather could be well summed up as STBO, or as my mate Dave might say, Stating the Bleeding Obvious.

Apparently it gets hot when there's a heatwave and you have to make sure you've got cool, loose clothing. You might also get a bit thirsty what with all this heat around so it's best to drink more water than usual. Lucky the council told me, else I'd have left home this morning after a vindaloo the night before and a bag of dry roasted nuts for brekkie without a drop of liquid passing my lips and passed out before I'd got 30 yards down the road.